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Carolina G. Is The Masseuse Part 2-B

Updated: Mar 18



Chapter: Internal Healing

Healing the body is pointless when we do not understand our first problem source and roots, are most likely from our internal state of mind, emotions and spirit. These aspects of whom we are, maintain the ability to destroy us from the inside out. Remember, the brain is the cleverest animal. Have you ever met someone whom always has some sort of ailment about their body? Either sick all the time, or simply always going to the doctor, trying to get better?

Being physically sick is the main indicator of someone who is going through things internally or facing some difficult life issues. More than that, it’s sometimes an indicator of a practice of self-destructive thoughts which result in behavior and sometimes even health ailments. No not always but a lot of times.

I recognize how mind over matter is a real phenomenon. Look, you are a powerful being inside of a weak vessel with a power switch board, your mind, and it will always look to make you think things if you won’t sit in the captain’s chair. It naturally wants you to obey and worship “it” in itself and it has fears. It’s afraid that you will soon realize, YOU are the true power.

Therefore this thing tries hard and creates ways to trick, to make you think that “you,” are “it.” But don’t believe that lying mind, stand strong and know that you are not a simple and controllable being. You must remember who you are in your truest form. Only then can any one of us have all of that power back within our grasp.

The past only matters when looked at for understanding and growth because the past is Gone.

Dead and gone. But the future, no matter how possibly short it may be, is still to come. So prepare for it. Quickly and patiently. Strong and with true strength, but remember that ‘strength of spirit’, appears as weakness to those whom are confused about what they think, and practice backwards thinking.

But you aren’t here for their opinions of you, you’re here to serve those whom CAN see you.

There are SO many that need you here. And there are many that will never see or fathom the truth within themselves enough to see yours. But trust, many need your help. You must fight for them and you. Fight to understand how you can help them by first fighting to get ahold of your ability to control your behavior. Because the fight is always first within, and this place IS a psychological war. A war of the wits and spirits.

A war of ‘truth vs. the lie’. And the lie is that you are lied to by God. Yet God is truth and cannot lie, but your brain (serpent) can. So lays the importance of knowing the difference. Remember not to forget to remind yourself that you must remember to stay close to the truth by living in it, surrounding yourself with it. It’s scary sometimes, but don’t worry. God will protect you and bring you out of any ginormous looking situations, no matter where you end up. He’ll be right there with you.

Death is the end of the work you’re given to do while you’re here and whatever beginning happens after, no matter what people believe, only your beliefs matter. You hold your own beliefs. So if your still alive right now, take heart, and know you still have a chance to make things right again.

The amount of belief and focus we have about where we go when we die is all going to be based upon choices we will make. It holds significant importance because your beliefs equal your actions and what you feel will happen when you die and leave this reality is all connected to how you behave. Being realistic is supposed to be about subjects that exist while we’re here in reality, so let’s talk about those things that will help you while you’re here.

You and God. God is here now. You are here now.

God’s not waiting for you to leave and be with him, no, HE IS here now. With you. Always has been, always will be.

Throughout all the issues, problems and inevitably horrible situations I faced, even the ones that I’ve made some pretty sketchy choices within and put myself in some serious pain, have taught me that I can either learn to trust in God and always call on him for all things through all things. Because he is the only way out of all situations that are so dire and scary. Or I can be terrified and panic or worse, lay within the self-strangling bed of self-hatred. Kill that monster within by trusting in your ability to ask for your power to conquer the wrongness within and grow the rightness of living in positivity and love. Service to others.

Get UP!!

Go outside and go for a walk! I sometimes play this game with my daughters when we go for walks. It’s called the “Hi,” game. We say hi and smile at everyone we pass, and if they say hi back or wave, then we won. If not, we laugh a little and keep on strollin. Try and try again until you win. Go help someone. Somehow. Even if just a little. By smiling or saying hi to people, you can do something to help in some way. And no matter if they care or appreciate it, it’s not about them caring, it’s about you being thankful to them for being here with you in order for you to be able to take that opportunity to interact with them or serve with love in some manner.

Here’s how I see it. I’m thankful for my ability to give to people and so it’s possible I should feel like it’s because of me that those who end up coming to me, must be in need because my need is to care and help others, so perhaps their need is a result of my aspiration to serve, and I need them to be in need so I should be thankful for them being in need instead of annoyed or overwhelmed by how many people are in need.

This thinking makes my mind shift to viewing others as being my charge, not my burden, being my work to be done and now I need to do my work and get it done well.

Pay attention to your thoughts.

In my mind I often hear my thoughts wanting me to make sure my intentions of a memory or action or words, were loving and not unkind. Like, sometimes my mind is in rewind mode thinking about situations or conversations and going over with me if I responded loving enough or could have been better. My mind now tests me and reminds me to stay on track with the selfless nature of whom I know Jesus to be. That’s why our beliefs are so very important, because they determine how we will react or treat others. They do not determine however, how people may treat or react back to us, and that’s where I think many become confused. We forget that not everyone will be grateful or care or want our help or anything of the sort.

Some people are just miserable and seem to want to be that way. But we must not be moved by it, we must remain who we are and behave the way we know we want to be, in kindness, forgiveness and love. If the thoughts within me are mean or hurtful at any time, I literally say within my head, “Stop it in the name of Jesus.” And I won’t allow those thoughts to strive or live within me. No. Because what we let grow within, will sprout without, and the fruits we pull from that wretched tree can only be poison to ourselves and those around us.

The kingdom of Heaven is within you and the mansion that is set for you to live in, IS a state of mind WHICH EXISTS RIGHT NOW. “The kingdom of heaven” and “God” and all those specific historical words, are about being alive and how we must keep in our minds our reasons as to why we will choose to not be mean or react in a hurtful, unthoughtful way, no matter if someone has hurt us or not. It’s about setting yourself up with that home in the clouds above all the madness in this lifetime, while we’re here.

Because the idea of “eternity” only resonates with some, but that doesn’t mean it only applies to those whom know about it or believe in it. No. Even those whom claim to be peaceful in their thoughts, ideas and actions, yet deny Christ, are simply ignorant. I.E. Stupid = Lacking knowledge.

It is the action of denying the truth that will set one’s mind into a backwards spin. Because denial is insanity. The factual information on Christ’s life is verifiable truth that exists here now and needs to be known. It is not hidden. It is not so complicated to understand. Nor is it meant for very few to access.

The fact remains that it’s impossible to be in a loving space of mind and learn the historically documented facts about the most loving man whom lived so long ago and then deny the facts of those accountings, and only see lies. How can one deny the importance of that kind of truth, then choose to deny it as being truth, and continue on life’s path under the flag of “Peace, love and harmony”?

To see the love in others is to be in harmony with yourself.

Some whom claim knowledge of Christ and to be walking on his path, also claim to be the special ones whom are covered by God; and all others are not. Which is saying that only bad things happen to people whom are not covered by God because they think bad things happen to people whom do not know. Yet, ALL are covered?

We’re are all here together.

I’ve learned that these perspectives are dangerous and hurtful. Because like me, many who believe in God have turned bad into an opportunity to render love. To apply love to the wounds. Therefore the wounds are no longer painful but a necessary work. A source of need for your love, here because you are here. Here with you.

The way I see it, when an attack or negative occurrence happens to those whom are covered by the knowledge of Christs love, they are able to maintain peace inside, because the difference between the two different mind sets and people whom have the covering of believing in God, is only everything.

Its how one thinks about things. And those who know God do not react the same way as those who do not.

We leave the understanding part up to God and simply push forward with our love tractor. Gently and in a slow way, God eases the mind into reconciling with our own determined feeling of being violated and abused by some loved ones. I remember often feeling a want to feel justified in cutting them off or being hurtful back to them, which left me living in error by allowing a specific thought pattern that made me feel like the abuse I was spreading back, was for a good reason. But eventually I was able to wake up my thinking and focus my mind on who Christ really is and what he does and how he gets us through it all. And it occupied my mind gently allowing forgiveness for their actions against me and instead of being hurt, I now felt appreciative.

I now felt free of the heavy heart of feeling like no one loved me since I was a baby or that they didn’t do their best by me. I now seen it differently and the result is a new mind which gave to me a new internal peace about some pretty heavy things. Though it took time for me to find forgiveness and acceptance on many occasions, I continued to strive for a peaceful internal land. I began to notice that I would go back and forth a lot and allow my mind to convince me I was wrong and those loved ones are horrible people whom I should shut out. I had to fight against my mind for a very long time. And as the blows kept coming, and my internal balance was pushed and pulled around like a strong wind, I continually sook out reminders and surrounded myself with facts of what I already knew but hadn’t been able to fully accept like, “God is Love.”

Instead of being angry at the abusers for the abuse they chose to inflict, I now knew that those abusers were the ones who needed help. Help to see. Help to heal and love to spill over upon them.

Along with attaching my acceptance to this new frame, I had to also recognize that many others looked at me and my beliefs as irrational in thought but then again who cares what they think about my mind. I’m the one who has to live next to it all day and night, so problem solved. I choose what to care about. And I choose not to care about the opinions of people whom would put me down as being less than them, though I will serve them in Love.

Sometimes in life we just need to clean our “mental mirror” or “turn the lights on,” because often we won’t even notice that the mirror is dirty, or that the room is dim at all because we’re just so used to not being able to see. It’s all fine and normal until someone turns on the lights and you see it all.

I’d often be doing dishes in the kitchen, when someone would come in saying, “why is it so dark in here, turn on the light.” And they would, and then I’d realize how much better I could see at that moment, but I didn’t even notice that it was slightly dark before those lights were turned on. Not until I seen the lights go on, did I know how much easier… I could be doing things.

Sometimes when I’m in such deep turmoil of self-suffering, my faith in God wavers. But the longer I learn to walk with the understanding of making aware choices and that most things are out of my control, and must be accepted, the more my strength in trusting God becomes. Even if I recognize that I’m trying to trust in ‘Gods will’, but inevitably do not and just cannot, inescapably I know I must. And I’ll be less angry and or disappointed in those moments and then react less attached to the negative emotions of the situation. In these moments when you or a friend are in a deep down feeling a loss of any sort, or wanting to die, trust me. I was there too and I wrote this for you.

I was sitting in my car at work, crying really hard from missing my one year old baby and scared as hell that she was being hurt and I wasn’t there to protect her and all I could do was pray. I even reached out to someone I felt was a friend but couldn’t feel relief, I had to simply do what I know I should. And in my conversation to God I became calmer and began to write this.

For you.