Self Murder

 

 

These days I've got a very serious mission to accomplish and I ask that each and everyone I come into contact with will stop using the word "suicide" and replace it with the term "self murder". 
 

I observe that most people who decide to end their lives would generally not do such a thing to another but because we keep using this phrase "suicide", which is a foreign language over all (legalese), it detaches us from the truth of what this action truly is, self murder.  I understand this word is necessary for the system of law in which it is derived, but when we are speaking to each other in our day to day lives, we should not be using it at all.  The main point of this mission is to bring awareness to how the use of this word detaches us from the reality of what this actions truly is and that we need to stop using it all together in the hopes it will lessen the action from occurring.  Or at least slow down the the use of it as an option as an options at all.

 

Would you shove a bottle of pills down someones mouth, or cut their wrists and let them die?  Would you drive someone crazy with mental abuse and make them hate themselves or shoot someone in the head because you just can't stand them?  I don't think you would.  But I don't know you like you do.  So it all comes down to how you look at it and if you can be honest with yourself.  I observe we've become detached to the understanding of self responsibility and how when we are done in life we will answer for this life.  We must begin to look at ourselves from the outside like if we are separate from us.  Self assess how we treat ourselves and how we would look at ourselves if we treated someone else that same way.  We are all children of God and if we hurt ourselves he sees us as child abusers period point blank.  And if we kill ourselves we are murdering someone precious to him, as precious as a new born baby.

So please feel me when I say to you if you feel down and not able to go on any further into life, please know I've been there and I have friends and close family members who too have felt this downward pull inside. This exhaustion from living and dealing with people or problems.  But I promise you when we finally came out of that haze, that daze, that illusion of self hatred, we were all so grateful we didn't decide to end it.  YOU are the reason I feel motivated to do the work I do.  YOU are the one who I hope so greatly to reach in some way.  Sometimes we just wanna be alone but when your mind is telling you to end it, it's a good time to not be alone.  If you don't wanna talk to someone please take a look at the book I wrote about my life (Carolina G. Is The Masseuse) located in the tab -  The Way of The Masseuse.  And let me be with you while I tell you my story.  I was moved to tell the truth about some pretty embarrassing events but I feel it's all for good so I've put my pride to the side and spilled the beans as they say and I want to share how I found my life purpose with you.  I know you can be okay again!!  

 

Oh Happy Day, when Jesus washed, my sins, away!!!!

First let me say how very sorry I am if you have experienced loss in this manner of departure.  And if you know anyone in need of help, please know that YOU CAN help them to know there is a way out of thinking in ways which make one not want to be here anymore.  But you can't force someone to hear you or receive what you are giving.  Yet at the same time you can continue to reach out to let them know you love them.  That will help them know Jesus saves lives because they will eventually understand your story and how he saved you.  Because though many hearts are hardened to hearing about God or Jesus, you don't have to mention him every single time you reach out.  But don't give up reaching out.  Even if they've been rude or mean to you.  Keep trying.  Keep letting them know you are there and are solid as a rock.  Knowing and expressing what he has done for us is something the holy spirit will move us to do when it's the perfect time.  Where we came out from and how we have been saved from self abuse can be something you speak about at any time but don't rush it. 

Here's a clarification, self hatred, depression, hopelessness, mental emotional exhaustion, fear of rejection or OD'ing are "sin".  Self abuse.  All sin is redeemable though the sacrifice of the Life of Jesus Christ.  An innocent life paid the price for all sins (self abuses) we've done in the past. Get to know Jesus Christ.  God is with everyone. Even those who have done horrific things. He can forgive them too!  It's all about wanting to change your heart and asking him to help you do that.  Trust in his perfect timing and don't give up on yourself or on anyone you may know who is in the midst of the shadow of self hatred.

Sin = Abuse   Self abuse or abuse of others, it's all called 'sin'.  It's like anti-money.  Debt.  Time spent doing wrong is accounted for in the end.  And God is a very good accountant.  In life we have an allowed amount of time given to us and it's imperative we do not leave this life in "Anti-Life" status.  Is it starting to make sense?  This is what he meant by "I am the way, the truth and THE LIFE."  All whom are in debt are in anti-life (anti-Christ) status.  He came here to teach us how to live life the way God meant for us to do it.  He is the guarantee.  The fulfillment of the original promise.  Our creator sent us a perfect example, very similar to how a company guarantees a product when used the way it was created to be used.  The instruction manual.  Users guide.  

Now, you may ask "how is depression a sin, people can't control that, sometimes it's a chemical or hormonal imbalance or something", and I'll say, "hey, it's an act of self focus".  But a focus in negative.  Why be in depression when you can be in prayer!  Be in meditation, sorting, clarifying, seeking understanding but never stay in actions which harm yourself.  Mourning is healthy to a certain balance.  But one must never choose laying around thinking sad or scary thoughts or convince yourself that somehow self doubting can move you into a better space.  Don't get into a worse space.  If you find something to feel down about, allow a thought process to happen and then leave it as it is.  It's like a pimple, don't keep picking at it, apply remedies or creams and stuff then accept that it's there and leave it alone.

 

The mind is like a horse needing to be trained, cared for and if accessed for driving your life essence around, it needs to be controlled.  Or it, will extinguish that essence knowingly or unknowingly.  Only God can offer the proper controls to that which he created.  We are not meant to be self controlled or controlled by fellow people hence he is our only authority.  Let him drive and have full control.  I promise he only has good intentions and anyone who claims other IS A LIAR.  

How is OD'ing self abuse?  Doing harmful drugs is abuse.  We can't 'over do it' when congregating with fellow Christ followers.  We can't over do praying all day.  Doing things we know are wrong is a sin because it's not an action used to bring the kingdom of God to earth.  We're all workers but if we don't work, we're broken.  Choose who you work for. 

 

I believe the only way we would ever be able to do things to hurt ourselves, is to choose to not know the true and full consequences of said behaviors and choices.  This is why we had to trust the lie in the story of Adam and Eve, whom chose to distrust our father and then take and eat a fruit 'to know good and evil'.  Accepting we did wrong is the first step in the process of healing which leads to growth.

 

Grow the tree of obedience now that you know what the fruit of the tree of good and evil tastes like.  We each possess a brain and it has two halves. One male the other female, in essence but more than any story or theory of meaning of this lesson, we must choose to surrender to the desire of giving ourselves to God vs. giving ourselves to self service.  The garden of eden is peace of mind.

Happy people don't commit suicide.  

Sometimes I know I can make others happy, but other times I'm struggling to believe in that self knowledge also however this process has taught me to know that when I set my thoughts and desires on doing what Christ did and trying to be as loving and devoted to serving others as he, I am being like him by simply wanting to.  My focus of many desires became about pleasing God instead of pleasing myself and now I live to show how his love, this way of thinking saved me.  And how very happy I am to serve his children as well, with every talent, word and action I now know I have been gifted with.  And you have many gifts too!  I know it!!  Ask to be shown. Pray and ask OUR savior to show you, and he will.

 

 

 

World Project:

Using YouTube, ButChute, & others platforms - video challenge: Create a video on the subject of what you've experienced with self murder and how you are doing with life currently. What you feel helped you and how you plan to apply that knowledge.

Communicating with others is a great way to focus on healing instead of suffering alone. I  believe we can start to create a community of people who feel empowered to know they have a family of members whom are happy to be here with them and also came from a sinful life but are now devoted to bringing God's kingdom to earth, each and every day.

Lake View