End Self Murder

It was a cold, heavy, brutal punch to the gut when I heard my friend tell me that their early twenties aged child had ended their own lives six months prior to us talking.

These days I've got a very serious mission to accomplish. Perhaps we should take a look at the power of words and their usage in our lives. With this, we should most likely come to the understanding that we need to stop using the word "suicide" and replace it with the term "self murder". Why you may ask, and my response is because when we do not understand the true implications of such a serious action, we're more likely to accomplish something we have not gained a true understanding of the repercussions it can bring.

I observe that most people who decide to end their lives would not generally want to harm another let alone kill another but because we keep using this phrase "suicide", which is a foreign language over all (legalese), it detaches us from the truth of what this action truly is, self murder. I understand this word is necessary for the system of law in which it is derived, but when we are speaking to each other in our day to day lives, we should not be using it at all. The main point of this mission is to bring awareness to how the use of this word detaches us from the reality of what this action, truly is and that we need to stop using it all together in the hopes it will lessen the action from occurring.

Or at least slow down the possibility of turning to it as an option to solving a problem at all.

Would you shove a bottle of pills down someone's mouth, or cut their wrists and let them die? Would you drive someone crazy with mental abuse and make them hate themselves or shoot someone in the head because you just can't stand them? I don't think you would. But I don't know you like you do. So it all comes down to how you look at it and if you can be honest with yourself. I observe we've become detached from the understanding of self responsibility and how when we are done in life we will answer for this life. We must begin to look at ourselves from the outside, like if we are separate from us and begin the process or self assessing how we treat ourselves and how we would look at ourselves if we seen us treating someone else that same way. We are all children of God and if we hurt ourselves he sees us as child abusers... period point blank. And if we kill ourselves we are murdering someone precious to him, as precious as a new born baby.

So, please feel me when I say to you if you feel down and not able to go on any further into life, please know I've been there and I have friends and close family members who too have felt this downward pull inside. I also have known of some who have very sadly accomplished this horrific action as well.

This exhaustion from living and dealing with people or problems is not something you are experiencing alone. But I promise you when we finally came out of that haze, that daze, that illusion of self hatred, you will be so grateful you didn't decide to end it. YOU are the reason I feel motivated to do the work I do. YOU are the one who I so greatly hope to reach in some way. Sometimes we just wanna be alone but when your mind is telling you to end it, it's a good time to not be alone. If you don't wanna talk to someone please take a look at the book I wrote about my life (Carolina G. Is The Masseuse) located in the- The Way of The Masseuse tab. And let me be with you while I tell you my story. I was moved to tell the truth about some pretty embarrassing events but I feel it's all for a very good reason so I've put my pride to the side and spilled the beans as they say. And I want to share how I found my life purpose, with you. I know you can be okay again!!

Oh Happy Day, when Jesus washed, my sins, away!!!!

First, let me say how very sorry I am if you have experienced loss in this manner of departure. And if you know anyone in need of help, please know that YOU CAN help them to know there is a way out of thinking in ways which make one not want to be here anymore. But you can't force someone to hear you or receive what you are giving. Yet, at the same time, you can continue to reach out to let them know you love them. That will help them know Jesus saves lives because they will eventually understand your story and how he saved you. Because though many hearts are hardened to hearing about God or Jesus, you don't have to mention him every single time you reach out. But don't give up reaching out. Even if they've been rude or mean to you. Keep trying. Keep letting them know you are there and are solid as a rock. Knowing and expressing what he has done for us is something the holy spirit will move us to do when it's the perfect time. Where we came out from and how we have been saved from self-abuse can be something you speak about at any time, but don't rush it.

Here's a clarification: Self hatred, depression, or OD'ing are a form of "sin". And sin simply means abuse. All sin is redeemable however through the sacrifice of the Life of Jesus Christ. His innocent life paid the price for all sins (abuses) we've done in the past. Get to know Jesus Christ. God is with everyone. Even in those who have done horrific things. He can forgive them too! It's all about wanting to change your heart and asking him to help you do that. Trust in his perfect timing and don't give up on yourself or on anyone you may know who is in the midst of the shadow of self-hatred.

Sin = Abuse. Self-abuse or abuse of others, it's all called 'sin'. It's like anti-money. Debt. Time spent doing wrong is accounted for in the end for those who do not want to get to get to know the innocent man who was abused to death and God is a very good accountant. In life we have an allowed amount of time given to us and it's imperative we do not leave this place in "Anti-Life" status.

Is it starting to make sense to you?

This is what he meant by "I am the way, the truth and THE LIFE." All whom are in debt, are in anti-life (anti-Christ) status. He came here to teach us how to live life the way God meant for us to do it because God loves us and wants us not to harm ourselves or others. He is the "guarantee" or "guarantor". HE is the fulfillment of the original promise. Our creator sent us a perfect example, very similar to how a company guarantees a product when used the way it was created to be used. The instruction manual. Users guide.

Now, you may ask "how is depression a sin, people can't control that, sometimes it's a chemical or hormonal imbalance or something", and I'll say, "hey, it's an act of self focus". But a focus on the negative. Why be in depression when you can be in prayer! Be in meditation, sorting, clarifying, seeking understanding but never stay in actions which harm yourself. Never stay quiet! Speak out loud and ask God to help you. Take for instance mourning. It too is "healthy" to a certain balance. But one must never choose laying around thinking sad or scary thoughts or convincing themselves that somehow self-doubting can move you into a better space. Don't get into a worse space. If you find something to feel down about, allow a thought process to happen and then leave it as it is. It's like a pimple, don't keep picking at it, apply remedies or creams and stuff then accept that it's there and leave it alone.

The mind is like a horse needing to be trained, cared for and if accessed for driving your life essence around, it needs to be controlled. Or it, will extinguish that essence knowingly or unknowingly. But, only God can offer the proper controls to that which he created. We are not meant to be self-controlled or controlled by fellow people hence he is our only authority. Let him drive and have full-control. I promise he only has good intentions and anyone who claims otherwise IS A LIAR.

How is OD'ing self abuse? Doing harmful drugs is abuse. We can't 'over do it' when congregating with fellow Christ followers. And we can't over do praying all day. Doing things we know are wrong is a sin because it's not an action used to bring the kingdom of God to earth. We're all workers but if we don't work, we're broken. Choose who you work for.

I believe the only way we would ever be able to do things to hurt ourselves, is to CHOOSE to NOT know the true and full consequences of said behaviors and choices. This is why we must NOT trust the lie in the story of Adam and Eve, whom chose to distrust our father and then take and eat a fruit 'to know good and evil'. Accepting we did wrong is the first step in the process of healing which leads to growth. Grow the tree of obedience now that you know what the fruit of the tree of good and evil tastes like. I believe that it's quite possible that we each possess a brain and it has two halves. One male the other female, in essence, but more than any story or theory of meaning of this lesson, we must choose to surrender to the desire of giving ourselves to God vs. giving ourselves to self-service. The garden of eden is 'peace of mind'.

Happy people don't commit suicide.

Sometimes I know I can make others happy, but other times I'm struggling to believe in that self knowledge also however this process has taught me to know that when I set my thoughts and desires on doing what Christ did and trying to be as loving and devoted to serving others as he, I am being like him by simply wanting to and that moves me to keep doing the work I am tired from. My focus of many desires became about pleasing God instead of pleasing myself and now I live to show how his love, this way of thinking saved me. And how very happy I am to serve his children as well, with every talent, word and action I now know I have been gifted with.

And you have many gifts too! I know it!! Ask to be shown. Pray and ask OUR savior to show you, and he will. Guaranteed. :)

World Project:

Using YouTube, ButChute, & others platforms - video challenge: Create a video on the subject of what you've experienced with self-murder and how you are doing with life currently. What you feel helped you and how you plan to apply that knowledge to those in need.

Communicating with others is a great way to focus on healing instead of suffering alone. I believe we can start to create a community of people who feel empowered to know they have a family of members whom are happy to be here with them and also came from a sinful life but are now devoted to bringing God's kingdom to earth, each and every day.